A COLLECTION OF FUN LITTLE THINGS
You Know You're A Ghost Hunter IF...
· Your car has a bumper sticker that reads: I'd Rather Be Ghost hunting!
· You refuse to stay at a hotel that's not haunted.
· You hear someone say "You look like you saw a ghost!"...and you start interviewing them.
· You hang out on a ghost message board more than any other place on the net.
· You talk to a brown out.
· Your coolest ghost photo is framed and hanging in the hallway with your family photos.
· You are more afraid of the living than you are of the dead.
· You're the only one in the photo shop who gets excited over "bad" pictures.
· You sit at your computer and look at the reflections in the screen to see if there is
anyone behind you.
· You have more photos of ghosts than you do of family photos.
· 99% of your bookmarks on the internet are ghost related.
· You invite friends over to watch home movies and they see your last three
investigations. (Film of an empty room for 3 hours.)
· Your kid says they have an imaginary friend... and outcome the cameras, tape
recorders, camcorders
· You apologize to the ghost for getting scared because you thought it was a human.
· Your friends stop and stare at the Sony Night cam aimed at the bed in the spare
bedroom and you have to tell them it isn't what they think it is.
· You sleep with a camera next to your bed,...ya know, just in case
· You find an EMF detector next to the remote for the TV.
· Your newest electronic toy is an motion sensor!
· At an event you film the ceiling and places where there are no people.
· You spend as much time looking at the negatives, as you do the prints.
· You're the only one at Aunt Bessie's funeral with an EMF meter and a tape recorder.
· You're watching scary movies with your family and someone asks "Can ghosts really do
that?" and you actually have an answer and the explanation.
· Attending a family reunion is a trip to the family plot
· Your friends tell you not to get involved in this stuff, because you may end up having a
ghost possess you!
· You spend more time with dead people than the living...but hey, aren't they more fun?
· You sit at the office all day staring at a mini web cam of some deserted boat's engine
room waiting for that "ONE PICTURE" instead of getting any of your work done
· You have more recordings of EVP’s than you do of your favorite music
· You spend all your free time in haunted buildings and cemeteries, talking to the darkness.
· You've been chased away from the Amityville house after disturbing a family barbeque
in the backyard
· UPS now delivers your new equipment to the office rather than your home so you don't have to explain to your wife why you need another ghost detector.
· You have more photography equipment than a Japanese tourist
· You keep rewinding that part on "3 men and a baby" to try to prove that it is a cardboard cut-out of Ted Danson.
· You are waiting for Regis to ask, "What is the most Haunted Place on Earth?"
· You take a picture of your entire family and ask any deceased relatives to join in the picture
· You get a new camera and the first thing you do is get rid of the strap.
· You refuse to make friends with people who are skeptics.
The Hillbilly Ghost Hunter
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed,
A poor ghost hunter barely kept his family fed.
Then one night, while spotlightin' some deer...
When out of the woods, a sound he did hear...
"Ooo," it said "Hello, Jed."
Well, the next thing you know a haint's a-standin' there,
The kinfolk yellin' "Jed, move away from there!"
Said, "In a graveyard's where that phantom outta be..."
So they loaded their equipment and went on a shootin' spree...
Photos, that is...
EVP...
Top 10 things you can do with your Possessed Psychic
10. Take them down to a karaoke bar and do covers of AC/DC songs
9. Use their glowing red eyes as a traffic safety device when your car breaks down
8. Put them on the phone when telemarketers call and bill them $3.99 per minute for Dial[1]A-Demon
7. Employ their powers of divination and geolocation to track down spammers and Fed Ex them to hell
6. Rent them out to Divinity schools for use as Exorcism Training Dummies
5. Use them in educational safety videos such as "Kids & Haitian Voodoo - Do's and Don't
4. Get them employed at Underwriter Laboratories to test kitchen appliance "possess ability"
3. Ouija board quality control at Parker Brothers
2. Enter them in Olympic Events like the 400 meter "Chase the Overconfident Wiccan Priestess Obstacle Course"
1. Post them in the break room for beverage availability so you don't waste a trip. "There is no coffee, only Zuul."